Felon Love With Politics

An important investigation by the Sun-Sentinel has discovered 30,000 felons illegally registered to vote in Florida.

At least they have the courage of their convictions.

Losing a Pound

The mother's child is 5 pounds, 8 ounces, and the daughter's child is 3 pounds; that pound and a half is a big difference, says the daughter.

Who said women aren't good at math?

Round From a Turban

Al-Zawahiri released a new video calling President Bush a butcher.

He, on the other hand, is "a uniter, not a divider".

Hits Just Keep On Coming

The dominatrix was acquitted of killing her client by plying her trade too enthusiastically.

She's smart as a whip, that girl.

Acid Rocker

The inventor (and frequent consumer) of LSD, chemist Albert Hofmann, turned 100 in Switzerland.

Life's a trip.

Up the Dow Staircase

The Dow closed above 11,000 for the first time since Spet. 11, actually closing at 11,011.

Yeah, so I stupidly bet 1100 on the 11th horse in the 11th race... and it came in 11th.

Alito Wisdom

Judge Alito began his Senate confirmation hearings for the Supreme Court by saying that a good judge has no agenda.

"You understand, fellas, just like you don't have a brain I'm not allowed to have a heart."

Bowled Over

Computer visionary John Diebold passed away at age 79.

But he died bold.

Whaling Wall

Japan is cheating again, trying to kill whales for food, and Greenpeace is stepping in to try and stop this violation.

Call me a sentimentalist, but I'm blubbering right along with them.

Try, Try Again

Headline: Afghans Try Former Communist Intelligence Chief.

Hate to see those ex-Commies working, but hey, the Afghanis in a bad spot and you can't blame them for trying him out.

Cheesy Gifts

Wisconsin families send cheese as holiday gifts.

"Well, Em and me was gonna send photos of the kids, but the fotog said 'Say cheese', and Em and me agreed that was a good idea."

Rabid Air

Satellite TV is popular in Iran despite being banned.

Yeah, but those antennas are pokey under the turbans.